maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize