If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
