3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
