She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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