I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
