Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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