Will you blow on my dice?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
