This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
