You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
