i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize