I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
