Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
