If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
