I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
