I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
