U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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