i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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