You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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