I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
