She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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