I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
