so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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