but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
