I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Actions speak louder than pants.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am available for nakedness
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
