And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
