guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize