Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
