She's JV to your varsity
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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