Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
bring money and cleavage
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
