:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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