I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
