Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
