god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
