it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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