Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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