Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
