Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
