I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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