I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
