i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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