I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
