I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize