Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
