I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
