6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize