She's the barista slut.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
As shirtless as possible
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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