his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
