Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
