Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
