Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
