My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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