HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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