Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
