I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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