just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
