you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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