jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize