dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
