Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
