belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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