Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
