hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
