WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
