The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
