Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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