is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
