YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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