she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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