I want to make a zoo with you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
